Look out Kathy Griffin and Margaret Cho: I bring twenty college students out of the closet in a single show

Equal parts raunchy, serious, awkward, and inspirational, her routine opened doors for the LGBTQQ community here on campus and opened the eyes of everyone less aware...it was an introduction to the life of Heather Gold, an extraordinary person.

[for the] people who stayed... to talk to Heather Gold—not even listen to or laugh at, but engage in authentic conversation with—her direct approach, her humor, and her interest in every individual was a welcome reprieve from an otherwise generally repressive atmosphere....Heather Gold is someone who deserves the chance to speak to more than just an audience of people seeking acceptance: she needs to speak to those who deny it, because if anyone can raise awareness and support for the  LGBTQQ (which stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and Questioning, in case you didn’t know) among us, she can.

 Audra Foster- The Gettysburg Forum

I perform and speak at college campus' regularly, usually about LGBT and diversity issues. For me this comes from the same heart as all my speaking in the Net and business world as well: creating spaces in which pretense can subside and people can be connected as their more authentic selves. Jokes help.

I'm becoming as well known for talking about and teaching how I do this tummeling as for performing.

But I am feeling really proud, and not just because I'm now entitled to a whole lot of toasters. I got serious about this goal of connecting the "audience" in my shows over a decade ago because of my San Francisco peers, mostly early web creators who all often asked "how can I add value." Many performers give people a public example of something, or publicly advocate for rights as comics Kathy Griffin and Margaret Cho do for LGBT rights. I do that too, but since I began doing solo shows (for me these are monologues with lots of dialogue in them), I began asking "what if the show were not about something over there but were focussed on making something really happen right here, right now."

What kind of difference can you really make in an hour or so? You can change how someone feels about themselves in public.You can change an environment.

To be fair this Gettysburg show did go over the hour I'd prepared to do because I was obsessed with bringing the room together and tipping the public balance in the room there so that people could come out. The students were individually telling me about their frustrations. And who were all these people showing up to have abstract discussions about civil rights, yet had real concrete social and personal difficulties? They didn't feel safe. They felt isolated even in a room together. And sadly, many of these students were in their young twenties and had already made it through adolesence without getting to openly feel ok about the feelings and actions straight kids take when they are 8 or 9 "I have a crush on him. Which boy do you like best?" and so on. They were in a small isolated college. Were they going to have to go through 4 more years not honestly connected to themselves or dating or sexuality?

I deal in the unspoken. Now the only student I physically brought onstage is definitely straight. But she has a version of the same stuff to deal with as everyone. Could she say no to me? Could she tell her truth? Not being able to talk about what you're really feeling or what's really going on isn't an issue limited to queer kids coming out. It's at the heart of the breeding ground for everything from unsafe sex to bad bad corporate meetings to dictatorships. It's one of the main obstacles to our being able to be #WITH (an ongoing project of mine) each other, which I believe is our main collective need right now.

So I stayed on stage until it became easier to be out than in. Till these students had someone else they could talk to in the open, or maybe even ask out. I did my best to use what was about me in the show was used to make things helpful for everyone there.

The awkwardness, the seriousness, the conversations, the discomfort, the comic relief was all done consiously in order to achieve something socially. As I teach in workshops and my keynotes, there's an informational flow (or a narrative or theatrical flow and there's a social flow. I wanted both.

It was a funny show. In comedy terms I killed. 

But in life terms, I did something much more important. I connnected. 

We all want to meet more people and feel more ourselves and more connected. This experience inspired me to want to accomplish more every time I perform. I'm a performing aiming for, as Umair Haque would say, thick value. Artists: ask yourself, how can I help? Directly.

 

Video to come.

To bring me to your campus or event, contact my lovely agents at Speak Out.

 

 

Look out Kathy Griffin and Margaret Cho: I bring twenty college students out of the closet in a single show

Equal parts raunchy, serious, awkward, and inspirational, her routine opened doors for the LGBTQQ community here on campus and opened the eyes of everyone less aware...it was an introduction to the life of Heather Gold, an extraordinary person.

[for the] people who stayed... to talk to Heather Gold—not even listen to or laugh at, but engage in authentic conversation with—her direct approach, her humor, and her interest in every individual was a welcome reprieve from an otherwise generally repressive atmosphere....Heather Gold is someone who deserves the chance to speak to more than just an audience of people seeking acceptance: she needs to speak to those who deny it, because if anyone can raise awareness and support for the  LGBTQQ (which stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and Questioning, in case you didn’t know) among us, she can.

 

Audra Foster- The Gettysburg Forum

I perform and speak at college campus' regularly, usually about LGBT and diversity issues. For me this comes from the same heart as all my speaking in the Net and business world as well: creating spaces in which pretense can subside and people can be connected as their more authentic selves. Jokes help.

I'm becoming as well known for talking about and teaching how I do this tummeling as for performing.

But I am feeling really proud, and not just because I'm now entitled to a whole lot of toasters. I got serious about this goal of connecting the "audience" in my shows over a decade ago because of my San Francisco peers, mostly early web creators who all often asked "how can I add value." Many performers give people a public example of something, or publicly advocate for rights as comics Kathy Griffin and Margaret Cho do for LGBT rights. I do that too, but since I began doing solo shows (for me these are monologues with lots of dialogue in them), I began asking "what if the show were not about something over there but were focussed on making something really happen right here, right now."

What kind of difference can you really make in an hour or so? You can change how someone feels about themselves in public.You can change an environment.

To be fair this Gettysburg show did go over the hour I'd prepared to do because I was obsessed with bringing the room together and tipping the public balance in the room there so that people could come out. The students were individually telling me about their frustrations. And who were all these people showing up to have abstract discussions about civil rights, yet had real concrete social and personal difficulties? They didn't feel safe. They felt isolated even in a room together. And sadly, many of these students were in their young twenties and had already made it through adolesence without getting to openly feel ok about the feelings and actions straight kids take when they are 8 or 9 "I have a crush on him. Which boy do you like best?" and so on. They were in a small isolated college. Were they going to have to go through 4 more years not honestly connected to themselves or dating or sexuality?

I deal in the unspoken. Now the only student I physically brought onstage is definitely straight. But she has a version of the same stuff to deal with as everyone. Could she say no to me? Could she tell her truth? Not being able to talk about what you're really feeling or what's really going on isn't an issue limited to queer kids coming out. It's at the heart of the breeding ground for everything from unsafe sex to bad bad corporate meetings to dictatorships. It's one of the main obstacles to our being able to be #WITH (an ongoing project of mine) each other, which I believe is our main collective need right now.

So I stayed on stage until it became easier to be out than in. Till these students had someone else they could talk to in the open, or maybe even ask out. I did my best to use what was about me in the show was used to make things helpful for everyone there.

The awkwardness, the seriousness, the conversations, the discomfort, the comic relief was all done consiously in order to achieve something socially. As I teach in workshops and my keynotes, there's an informational flow (or a narrative or theatrical flow and there's a social flow. I wanted both.

It was a funny show. In comedy terms I killed. 

But in life terms, I did something much more important. I connnected. 

We all want to meet more people and feel more ourselves and more connected. This experience inspired me to want to accomplish more every time I perform. I'm a performing aiming for, as Umair Haque would say, thick value. Artists: ask yourself, how can I help? Directly.

 

Video to come.

To bring me to your campus or event, contact my lovely agents at Speak Out.

 

 

TummelVision live. Real Time Crowdsourcing

Kevin, Deb and I tummeled everyone at Crowd Conference. Kevin made one beautiful slide that shows really well how tummeling is the key to the sweet spot of engagement and conversation. Didn't that sound compelling in market-o-speak? In regular talk: it's a way to be able to hear others, make connection and sense out of what's going on.

It was fun to have the whole TummelVision band together. More podcast delights from us here.

Thanks to Lucas Biewald and everyone for having us.

 

If you'd like to learn how to tummel a room, check out my UnPresenting workshops.

Join me in socially creating my new piece WITH - Speaking at: Being Human in an InHuman Age Watch at 12 EST [video]

I'm speaking at this conference at Bard full of philosophers, Hannah Arendt experts, and very smart people. And then there will be me. I am still not sure what the word ontological means. I'm going to use that as an asset and intimacy the place up.

You can watch the stream here.

Today is the beginning of socially developing my new piece WITH (it's a working title. If I capitalize it all then it's at least as important as The Man From U.N.C.L.E.).

For Bard folks, here are links to pieces I will refer to: Flow: How I Deal With Information Overwhelm, Totally Gay for the Web, How to Tummel: Design for Conversation, my podcast with Kevin Marks and Deb Schultz on the art of social engagement and human-centred life : TummelVision.tv

Everything, as they say, is subject to change. Here is how I will begin. You and your thoughts are welcome

The geeks are been afraid of people and built the web.

The social people have been afraid of technology but now have to use it.

The geeks built the web for information *and* to connect w each other.

The web has passed the social tipping point. The relational will pass pure info as a mode of understanding.

The industrial era included the creation of psychoanalysis, the novel, self-consciousness.

We are now entering a new era of social-consciousness: awareness of the (already, always existing) social /relational element to all we do BECAUSE WE HAVE DATA + FEEDBACK SHOWING US ALL THE TIME. WE ALL EXIST IN DATA ALL THE TIME.

The geek dream was to have all the data all the time. To exist in information. 

But why? to connect. Information is a tool for understanding and also the safe space for geeks to connect.

The industrial era turned everything into a product and people into objects.

The info era turned everything into a service and even business relational.

It will help us return to our relational selves.

People may say it's isolating us, we spend less time with each other, more time alone w a screen:

1) being in front of a screen snit' necessarily being alone

2) being with others isn't necessarily being together

3) to be together now, in person, is much more of a choice

For an incredibly long time public power has been about the rational, white, men, the controllers of technology and information.

The social web is the tipping point of when the "private" entered public and the skills of the previously "feminine" world become publicly necessary.

Authority was vested in position. In status. In the ability to do things AT and TO people.

When everyone has tools and information. And physical needs are met (the West) then what remains (in awareness) is the social / relational driver. 

People created business and technology to serve their needs. Then often they repressed their own human-ness in order to serve the goals of biz and tech which we've come to trust as more "inevitable" than our internal needs.

In village life people lived communally. They had to repress their individual personalities and differences (inc. ethnic, religious, etc) in order to socially connect. GROUP The industrial era urbanized. People could be different in their own ghetto (Harlem, Glazer/Jews: 5:00 Shadow, gays, the nerd table etc)-early web organized like this too: special interest group because organized by Keyword. SELF (difference)

The social tipping point puts us in a new stage. Info economy. Socially: *networked village* exists in urban *and* rural places. We have to learn how to be >different together<. How to create space for that. THIS IS THE MAJOR CHALLENGE OF OUR TIME. We need new public space, new lessons, new skills.

A healthy relational state is one in which people and things act WITH each other.

WITH demands self-agency. You have to choose the other person(s) or acts. If you cannot really see other people then you are not really WITH them. You may be next to them. Or doing things TO them.  Most of our isms come from people not seeing each other.